Genesis 46-50

We begin Chapter 46 with an animal sacrifice. God likes those. He promises to protect Jacob and the gang as they journey to Egypt. Jacob's descendants are named in agonizing detail. These sort of verses are taxing just to skim. A sampling: "And the sons of Benjamin were Belah, and Becher, and Ashbel, Gera, and Naaman, Ehi, and Rosh, Muppim, and Huppim, and Ard." zzzzz

And it came to pass the threescore and ten souls of Jacob, which came out of his loins, arrive in Egypt. Father and son finally meet again. They fall upon each other's neck and weep.

Joseph's family tells Pharoah of the terrible famine back in Canaan and asks if they can stay in Egypt. The famine is still underway in Egypt, but whatever. Pharoah approves their stay, and Joseph gets them all set up with the best of the land.

Joseph ends up with all the money, all the land, all the livestock in Egypt. Well, except for the land of the priests (huh?). Locals pay Joseph for the food they grew in the first place. Seems fair. Joe enacts a law where 20% of everything Egyptians grow will be a tax given to the Pharoah. He gets to make laws now evidently. So the Egyptians survive the famine, but it's no picnic being them. Meanwhile, Joe's carpet bagger family is rich and continues to crank out babies. Hey, they're the chosen people.

At 147 years of age, Jacob is near death. He asks Joseph to bury him in Canaan with Abraham, Sarah, Isaac and the sister wives Rebekah and Leah. Joseph promises by putting his hand under his dad's thigh (and where would that be?). Jacob blesses Joseph's sons, Manasseh and Ephraim. He puts his left hand on Manasseh (the first born) which is all wrong. Joseph tries to get his dad to put his right hand on the older son. How can the blessing work if his hands are mixed up? Jacob insists the younger will be greater than the older and his seed shall be a multitude of nations.

Jacob gathers all his sons and says a little something to each of these twelve tribes of Israel. Of course Joseph is the most blessed. Jacob does speak to the murderous acts of Simeon and Levi. He solves that little dilemma by scattering their descendants around Israel. Glad we got that addressed. Let's see. Judah is a lion's whelp, his ass's colt unto the vine. His teeth be white with milk. Issachar is a strong ass couching down between two burdens. Dan shall biteth the horse heels. Blah blah blah, and Jacob dies. Finally.

The Eygptians mourn for threescore and ten days. Why? What has this guy done for them except hog all the good stuff? Joe and his descendants and a few of Pharoah's slaves haul the body to Canaan and bury it. Then they return to Egypt. They do a hell of a lot of traveling between Canaan and Egypt.

Now that Jacob is dead, the brothers fear Joe will requite them all the evil which they did unto him. To his credit, Joseph doesn't. He tells his brethren God has promised them the land of Abraham, Isaac and Jacob. The chosen people. The promised land.

Joe gives up the ghost at the age of 110 and is put in a coffin in Egypt. It was a good ride, old man.