No kinky sex in Chapter 25, just garden variety slavery, infertility and impossibly old people. Ho hum.
Abraham marries Keturah and the babies show up in droves, but Abraham gives everything he has to Isaac. That sucks for everyone else. He also has children with the sister wife concubines. He gives them gifts, then shoos them out of the house. Abraham "gives up the ghost" after 350 years, and he is buried with Sarah.
Ishmael, Abraham's son with the slave Hagar, has a bunch of kids, 12 of whom are princes. He "gives up the ghost" at the tender age of 137.
Isaac marries, and wouldn't you know it, Rebekah is barren. When Isaac talks to God about it, she gets pregnant. It's a rough pregnancy which God explains like so: "Two nations [are] in thy womb, and two manner of people shall be separated from thy bowels; and [the one] people shall be stronger than [the other] people; and the elder shall serve the younger."
Rebekah gives birth to twin boys. Esau, the firstborn, is red like a hairy garment (what?), outdoorsy, and favored by his father. Jacob is a "plain man" and mommy's boy. He's also kind of a dick who tricks the more dim-witted Esau. One day Esau comes in from the field so famished that he stupidly trades his birthright for a bowl of Jacob's lentil soup. I guess it doesn't much matter as God has already announced the elder is predestined to serve the younger.
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