In today's reading, Moses is still speaking to the Hebrews, summarizing and repeating the law. He's been talking so long, I wonder if anyone is still listening. Also, aren't there like a million people on this journey? Does he have a really boss sound system? How does this work?
Moses reminds the chosen people of the kooky time when they worshipped the golden calf. God was very wroth, and only thanks to Moses were they not destroyed. In anger, Moses did brakest the tablets containing the Ten Commandments though. He and God refashion those and spell out the specifications for an ark to house the new ones. Moses' brother Aaron and his Levite kin, the priests, are to bear the ark of the covenant. As a special bonus, they are left out of inheriting any of the promised land. Sorry about that. Hope you enjoy the honor of toting around the ark made of shittim wood. The Hebrews are to both fear and love God, and to him thou shalt cleave. Circumcise therefore the foreskin of your heart, and be no more stiffnecked. OK then.
Remember when God opened up the Red Sea and swallowed all those people? Remember when the earth opened up her mouth and gobbled up Dathan, Abiram, all of their households and possessions? Isn't God so great and mighty? If you obey his commandments, you will be blessed. If you don't, you will be cursed. Destroy any place that worships other gods. Overthrow their altars, break their pillars, burn their groves, hew down their graven images. Bring your offerings and tithes before the Lord. Don't eat the blood of any sacrificed animal. If someone around you worships another god, you must kill them. If a town is full of such non-believers, destroy it utterly. Why is God so threatened by other gods? If he really is the one true god, what does he care? Shouldn't he be more secure?
Do not cut yourself, nor make any baldness between your eyes for the dead. Thou shalt not eat any abominable thing. Stick with the animals that have cloven hooves and chew the cud. Tithe, tithe, tithe. God needs money, folks. Every seven years, debts are forgiven and slaves are released. If your slave asks to stay, take an awl and thrust it through his ear and he'll be yours forever. What slave asks to stay? And why barbarically pierce his ear? The firstborn male in thy herd and thy flock shalt be eaten before the Lord, unless it has a blemish or is blind or lame. Eat those within thy gates; God doesn't want to see the ugly ones. Don't forget to pour its blood upon the ground like water.
Observe the feast of unleavened bread (Passover) during the month of Abib. Then put the sickle to the corn and celebrate the feast of weeks. The feast of the tabernacles is observed after thy gathers thy corn and thy wine. Three times a year all the menfolk appear before the Lord with an offering associated with each festival. How this works is beyond me. Where do they meet up with him, or do they go up to heaven? How do they get there? What does God need with bread and wine?
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