Potiphar can see the Lord is with his new slave Joseph (whatever that means) and puts him in charge of the house. Because Joseph is such a goodly person and well favored, God blesses Potiphar's home, crops and possessions.
Potiphar's wife has the hots for Joseph, but he continually refuses her. She gets pretty animated about it and grabs his garment while demanding sex. He flees. She uses the clothing as evidence that the Hebrew servant tried to rape her. Potiphar is very wroth and throws Joe in jail next to Pharoah's butler and baker.
The guard can see the Lord is with Joseph (again, what?) so he puts him in charge of the butler and baker. The prison guard puts a prisoner in charge of the other prisoners. Right. The butler and baker dream some dreams. You can listen to the soundtrack for details. "And Joseph came in unto them in the morning, and looked upon them, and behold, they were sad." Supposedly they are sad because they don't understand the meaning of their dreams, but until this point in the bible the phrase "came in unto them" has been reserved for naughty time. Bow chicka wow wow. I guess it is a prison. Anyway, Joe informs them the butler's dream means he will be released from jail in three days (and he is). The baker's dream means Pharoah will hang him from a tree in three days (and he does).
Two years later Pharoah dreams about seven skinny cows eating fat cows, and seven pitiful ears of corn eating seven beautiful ears of corn. And, behold, it was a dream. Clearly it means something very important. So how do these folks know which dreams mean something and which are the random nonsense that everyone dreams every night? Pharoah summons all the magicians in Egypt but they too are stumped. The butler tells Pharoah about the faithful Hebrew servant Joseph.
Pharoah calls for the imprisoned Joseph, who shaves, changes his clothes and "came in unto Pharoah." I guess that's one way to break the ice. Joe, wouldn't you know, can interpret the dreams: Egypt will have seven years of feast and seven of famine. Pharoah is impressed with Joseph's obvious talents and makes him his second in command. He gives Joe fine clothes, jewelry, a chariot, a wife and a new name: Zaphnathpaaneah.
During the seven plentiful years, Joseph directs all the surplus to be stored. Apparently being in a dungeon the past few years has sharpened his leadership skills. His wife bares two babes (sons, of course), Manasseh and Ephraim. And then the famine strikes. People somehow know food is stored in Egypt and show up in droves from other lands. Pharoah directs all the hungry people to Joseph. Chapter 41 ends as Jacob sends his sons to Egypt to buy corn. We're right on the cusp of a brotherly reunion.
Showing posts with label dreams. Show all posts
Showing posts with label dreams. Show all posts
Friday, October 14, 2011
Friday, October 7, 2011
Genesis 28-31
Isaac wants Jacob to marry someone worthy (one of their own kind) and sends him to take thee a wife from Rebekah's brother Laban's clan. Esau overhears and realizes his Canaanite wives are second rate so he takes a third wife, this one Ishmael's daughter a.k.a. his cousin.
Jacob dreams of angels walking up and down a ladder and of course God makes an appearance. And big shock, God says Jacob and descendants will be very blessed. What makes Abraham's descendants so special, other than the lack of foreskin? I must have missed something. And if such things are predestined, what does behavior matter? As we've seen by now, Jacob can be a major league asshole, so I guess it doesn't matter. And why does God show up in dreams?
Jacob wakes up and proclaims surely the presence of the Lord is in this place. I can feel his mighty power and his grace. I can hear the brush of angels' wings. I see glory on each face. Sing it with me! He names the place Bethel and seals the deal by setting a rock on a pillar and pouring oil on it. I guess he had to make do with what he had. He says if God will feed, clothe and protect him, then the Lord shall be his God AND Bethel shall be God's house. Pretty sweet deal for God.
Jacob meets his Laban and falls in love with Laban's daughter Rachel. He agrees to work for Laban for seven years if he can marry Rachel. That's love. Or maybe Laban is a manipulative bastard. Turns out it's both. On the wedding night, Laban uses the cover of darkness to pull the old bait-and-switch and sends his daughter Leah into the tent.
Jacob goes in unto Leah and in the morning realizes he nailed the wrong cousin. He is pretty pissed, although he's getting a taste of his own medicine with this lying trickery. Laban is unapologetic. He wanted the elder daughter married off first. But great news - work another seven years and THEN Rachel will be his. Fourteen years isn't that much for these folks who live hundreds of years. After seven years, he goes in unto Rachel, making Leah and Rachel for reals sister wives.
Jacob doesn't love Leah (she's tender eyed after all, and who wants that?), so God makes her fertile and Rachel barren. Makes sense. Leah starts cranking them out. All sons of course. Desperate for children, Rachel gives her handmaid (slave) to Jacob. He goes in unto her and she delivers a few sons. Meanwhile, Leah's uterus has run out of gas, but she is not giving Rachel the last word on this babymaking business. Leah gives HER slave to Jacob and he goes in unto her, and guess what. That's right, a couple more sons!
One of the sons finds "mandrakes" which some bible translations call "love fruit." Leah and Rachel quarrel over it. I guess Leah wins because Jacob goes in unto her and two more sons arrive. And, oops, a daughter (Dinah). God decides to open Rachel's womb for business (so the love fruit wouldn't have mattered, I guess) and she finally has a son, Joseph.
Jacob and his father in law are constantly trying to dick each other over. Jacob makes sure Laban ends up with the feeble livestock, keeping the best for himself. Laban changes Jacob's wages and pulls other dickery to cheat Jacob out of what he's owed. Jacob decides to take the brood to Canaan and sneaks out in the dead of night. On the way out, Rachel steals her dad's idols.
Laban hunts them down and demands to know why they didn't say goodbye. The best part of this whole exchange is Rachel hides the stolen idols in a camel saddle, then sits on the camel while Laban frantically searches for the goods. She lies to her dad and says she got her period and can't stand up. He buys it. Classic.
Somehow Laban and Jacob part on decent terms, forming a covenant that involves... wait for it... a sacrificed animal.
Jacob dreams of angels walking up and down a ladder and of course God makes an appearance. And big shock, God says Jacob and descendants will be very blessed. What makes Abraham's descendants so special, other than the lack of foreskin? I must have missed something. And if such things are predestined, what does behavior matter? As we've seen by now, Jacob can be a major league asshole, so I guess it doesn't matter. And why does God show up in dreams?
Jacob wakes up and proclaims surely the presence of the Lord is in this place. I can feel his mighty power and his grace. I can hear the brush of angels' wings. I see glory on each face. Sing it with me! He names the place Bethel and seals the deal by setting a rock on a pillar and pouring oil on it. I guess he had to make do with what he had. He says if God will feed, clothe and protect him, then the Lord shall be his God AND Bethel shall be God's house. Pretty sweet deal for God.
Jacob meets his Laban and falls in love with Laban's daughter Rachel. He agrees to work for Laban for seven years if he can marry Rachel. That's love. Or maybe Laban is a manipulative bastard. Turns out it's both. On the wedding night, Laban uses the cover of darkness to pull the old bait-and-switch and sends his daughter Leah into the tent.
Jacob goes in unto Leah and in the morning realizes he nailed the wrong cousin. He is pretty pissed, although he's getting a taste of his own medicine with this lying trickery. Laban is unapologetic. He wanted the elder daughter married off first. But great news - work another seven years and THEN Rachel will be his. Fourteen years isn't that much for these folks who live hundreds of years. After seven years, he goes in unto Rachel, making Leah and Rachel for reals sister wives.
Jacob doesn't love Leah (she's tender eyed after all, and who wants that?), so God makes her fertile and Rachel barren. Makes sense. Leah starts cranking them out. All sons of course. Desperate for children, Rachel gives her handmaid (slave) to Jacob. He goes in unto her and she delivers a few sons. Meanwhile, Leah's uterus has run out of gas, but she is not giving Rachel the last word on this babymaking business. Leah gives HER slave to Jacob and he goes in unto her, and guess what. That's right, a couple more sons!
One of the sons finds "mandrakes" which some bible translations call "love fruit." Leah and Rachel quarrel over it. I guess Leah wins because Jacob goes in unto her and two more sons arrive. And, oops, a daughter (Dinah). God decides to open Rachel's womb for business (so the love fruit wouldn't have mattered, I guess) and she finally has a son, Joseph.
Jacob and his father in law are constantly trying to dick each other over. Jacob makes sure Laban ends up with the feeble livestock, keeping the best for himself. Laban changes Jacob's wages and pulls other dickery to cheat Jacob out of what he's owed. Jacob decides to take the brood to Canaan and sneaks out in the dead of night. On the way out, Rachel steals her dad's idols.
Laban hunts them down and demands to know why they didn't say goodbye. The best part of this whole exchange is Rachel hides the stolen idols in a camel saddle, then sits on the camel while Laban frantically searches for the goods. She lies to her dad and says she got her period and can't stand up. He buys it. Classic.
Somehow Laban and Jacob part on decent terms, forming a covenant that involves... wait for it... a sacrificed animal.
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