Just when you think this book cannot get any freakier, it does just that. Welcome to Chapter 19.
Two angels visit Sodom and Lot invites them over for dinner. The male townsfolk show up and demand the guests be handed over to be raped. I guess these Sodomites really are wicked assholes after all. Lot is determined to protect his guests so he offers up his own daughters for the raping. And Lot is the good guy in town. He claims his daughters are virgins but we learn later in the chapter they are married, not that this detail makes the story any better or worse. Anyway, the suggestion ticks off the Sodomites who storm the house. The angels help Lot slip back inside and strike all the would-be rapists blind.
The angels escort Lot, his wife and two daughters out of town. Run away, and don't look back! God then gets down to business destroying the entire Jordanian valley, including Sodom and Gomorrah. Classic old testament hellfire and brimstone. Lot's wife looks back at the burning city. Big mistake. She immediately turns into a pillar of salt (what?!). Hey, you were warned, babe. But Lot -- who presents his daughters to would-be rapists -- escapes safely. Clearly he's done nothing so terrible as look back over his shoulder.
Lot and his daughters end up in a nice cave in Zoar. The daughters want their dad's name to live on, and who wouldn't want to preserve the bloodline of a wonderful dad who offered you up to be raped. So they did the only logical thing and got him drunk and took turns fucking him. Did it ever occur to you he might get married again? Maybe show him how to use eharmony.com.
OK, so both daughters have sons, making Lot a dad and grandpa to the same kids.
Showing posts with label Sodom and Gomorrah. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Sodom and Gomorrah. Show all posts
Tuesday, October 4, 2011
Sunday, October 2, 2011
Genesis 16-18
Sarai and Abram have been in Canaan for 10 years when they have a little chat about their infertility. Sarai tells Abram he should sleep with her Egyptian slave Hagar, thinking she may have children by Hagar if she can't have one on her own. She gives Hagar to Abram "to be his wife." Hagar of course has no say in the situation. Abram and Hagar go at it, and she gets knocked up. Sarai is upset about this, even though she is the one who suggested it in the first place. Abram reminds her that she has power over her servant and can do to her as she pleases. Sarai then beats the crap out of Hagar who flees.
An angel of the Lord tracks Hagar down and tells her to return to her mistress Sarai and submit to her. The angel says it's ok Hagar, you'll have a son Ishmael, many descendants, and things will be great, you'll see. Slavery is treated neutrally. Also note that the oppressed is told her reward will come later. Good tactic that keeps the little people in their place.
When Abram is 86 years old, Ishmael is born.
Thirteen years later, God shows up again and says Abram and Sarai are now Abraham and Sarah. OK then. Abraham learns he'll be the father of multitudes of nations and kings. God says Ishmael will be blessed, and Sarah, 90 years old by this point, will have a son Isaac who will be very, very blessed. The token of this covenant is... that's right, circumcision. Lop off your foreskins, please. Abraham takes his son and slaves and circumcises them all. Circumcises himself too. WTF. Ever hear of sealing a deal with a handshake?
God appears to Abraham yet again as Abraham sits at the entrance of his tent. Three men are traveling by and Abraham gives them food and water. Very hospitable. I don't know if these fellows are angels or in cahoots with God or what, but one of the men says Sarah will have a son within the year. She is listening from the tent and laughs in disbelief. Did I mention she's 90 years old? God asks Sarah why she is laughing. "Is there anything too hard for the Lord?" Instead of saying, listen I am a 90 year old woman, she denies laughing. Obviously you don't want to be too logical where God is concerned. So how did she know he was God? Was he visible? Did she just hear a voice? I don't get it.
Abraham walks with the three men as they head out of town toward Sodom, which reminds God of what a wicked place Sodom is. The people there sin all the time and God is ready to smote them all. Abraham doesn't want that to happen - his nephew Lot lives there. He makes a deal with God that if 10 righteous people can be found in Sodom, God will spare the city. What a guy.
An angel of the Lord tracks Hagar down and tells her to return to her mistress Sarai and submit to her. The angel says it's ok Hagar, you'll have a son Ishmael, many descendants, and things will be great, you'll see. Slavery is treated neutrally. Also note that the oppressed is told her reward will come later. Good tactic that keeps the little people in their place.
When Abram is 86 years old, Ishmael is born.
Thirteen years later, God shows up again and says Abram and Sarai are now Abraham and Sarah. OK then. Abraham learns he'll be the father of multitudes of nations and kings. God says Ishmael will be blessed, and Sarah, 90 years old by this point, will have a son Isaac who will be very, very blessed. The token of this covenant is... that's right, circumcision. Lop off your foreskins, please. Abraham takes his son and slaves and circumcises them all. Circumcises himself too. WTF. Ever hear of sealing a deal with a handshake?
God appears to Abraham yet again as Abraham sits at the entrance of his tent. Three men are traveling by and Abraham gives them food and water. Very hospitable. I don't know if these fellows are angels or in cahoots with God or what, but one of the men says Sarah will have a son within the year. She is listening from the tent and laughs in disbelief. Did I mention she's 90 years old? God asks Sarah why she is laughing. "Is there anything too hard for the Lord?" Instead of saying, listen I am a 90 year old woman, she denies laughing. Obviously you don't want to be too logical where God is concerned. So how did she know he was God? Was he visible? Did she just hear a voice? I don't get it.
Abraham walks with the three men as they head out of town toward Sodom, which reminds God of what a wicked place Sodom is. The people there sin all the time and God is ready to smote them all. Abraham doesn't want that to happen - his nephew Lot lives there. He makes a deal with God that if 10 righteous people can be found in Sodom, God will spare the city. What a guy.
Genesis 13-15
In Chapter 13, Abram, Sarai and Lot do some traveling around the Bethel and Hai region. Abram's herdsmen and Lot's herdsmen do not get along, so the two men decide the world's a big place, let's spread out a bit. Lot heads to Jordan because it is beautiful and green. It is also where the wicked sinners of Sodom live. And Abram goes to Canaan. The Lord talks to Abram, assuring him he and his descendants will be very blessed. Abram builds a temple.
Chapter 14 rattles off a long list of kings. There is a war and Sodom and Gomorrah are ransacked. Lot loses all of his possessions and is captured. When Abram hears about his nephew Lot, he puts together an army of his slaves and recaptures all the lost goods. The kings of Sodom and Salem thank Abram and offer food and whatnot as a reward, but Abram refuses.
God talks to Abram again in Chapter 15. Abram takes this opportunity to bring up, hey you said we'd be fruitful but we are STILL childless. He then slaughters a heifer, a goat and a ram as an offering to God. Always a good choice. God promises Abram he will have lots of descendants.
Chapter 14 rattles off a long list of kings. There is a war and Sodom and Gomorrah are ransacked. Lot loses all of his possessions and is captured. When Abram hears about his nephew Lot, he puts together an army of his slaves and recaptures all the lost goods. The kings of Sodom and Salem thank Abram and offer food and whatnot as a reward, but Abram refuses.
God talks to Abram again in Chapter 15. Abram takes this opportunity to bring up, hey you said we'd be fruitful but we are STILL childless. He then slaughters a heifer, a goat and a ram as an offering to God. Always a good choice. God promises Abram he will have lots of descendants.
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